I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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