I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
