your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
