know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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