I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
