3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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