that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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