I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
