just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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