I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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