Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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