Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this boner is exhausting
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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