bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You're like the curious george of whores
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize