i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
