My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize