Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
