Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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