Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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