PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
