DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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