My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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