Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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