Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
