Ambien. No doubt about it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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