i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
