I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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