good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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