yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize