So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
