I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize