16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
