Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
