Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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