Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
