I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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