That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
