am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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