All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it's like heaven, but drunker
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
