Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
