I wish life had little blips of pornography
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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