I'm drive I can fine osifer
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
