I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
