he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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