we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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