if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think I sprained my soul last night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
