he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
