Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
