Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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