is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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