i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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