So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
