please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
