I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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