just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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