bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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