is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
