Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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