it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
