i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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